Well, now that I am writing this post, it’s odd. I am starting this blog – with a big learning curve. This post may be listed as being from May, but actually today is Sept. 7, 2008 – it has just taken me this long to get around to posting/designing/widgeting. And that whole process continues!
As a recovering haphazard journal-writer, I am trying to commit to visiting this little thought-space daily to document and explore the peaks, valleys and winding trails of my creative journey. There are many reasons for doing this: 1) I want to see where I am going in my artwork and where I have been, 2) I want to take a meditative moment each day to be present to how the mystery of God is dancing in and around me, and 3) I want to fine tune my daily awareness of that of God that is in me, and in you, and in everyone, and in all creation – the Imago Dei – or in this instance the Imago Day!
This third objective has also become the focus of much of my artwork, which centers around themes of justice and transcendence of the oppressed and suffering.
Some days in my practice as an artist, I feel this awareness of Imago Dei growing in me and taking me over – until I am consumed by the creative act itself. Until the artwork itself becomes a sort of incarnation. And then other days I feel exhausted by all of the physical effort and thinking. The power of ideas – and even how they manifest or settle in the body – can be tough on life-balance.
Not surprisingly, during all of this creative turmoil, my artistic style has started to shift. This shift is exciting and new but also terrifying, because I have to dig so deep into myself, and let go of many of my masks, my walls, my securities. I have to let go of wondering what my family, friends, professors, and even strangers will think of what I am creating. I have to reach out to and embrace emotions that are sometimes not visually pretty or proportional or comfortable. Most of all I have to let go of my own self doubts, my own awareness of my limitations and flaws, if I ever want the artwork to be perhaps what I may never be able to fully embrace or personify – the imago dei – the essence of love, and truth and beauty.
Creating for me is like living – and in fact that is what I think life really is about, the struggling to create some-thing (whether art, family, community, or concepts) in the face of destruction. I can’t not create. My creating is modeled in that divine spark within me – I create because I was created. I am a reflection in some way of someone Divine, my art is a reflection of me. And in like form I see myself reflected when I look into the eyes of the other. True creation, I think – like living, like being in relationship, like loving – is both exciting and terrifying because to create something true one must expose the true self. Exposure is always freeing and terrifying at the same time.
As I am committing to this journaling, I can’t promise you that these postings will be very enlightening (or even very interesting!). Oh, you poor souls that come across my rambling! But I promise to be honest and vulnerable as to where this journey is taking me.
Best wishes and safe passage in your journey until we meet again!